Can I hear you now? Can I hear me now?

Age-standardised disability-adjusted life year...

Age-standardised disability-adjusted life year (DALY) rates from Hearing loss (adult onset) by country (per 100,000 inhabitants). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

An interesting thing happened on the way to my current state of depression.

I was losing my hearing and I did not know it or else I did not accept it.

Diane did tell me that she thought I was losing my hearing, but I was tested 30 years ago and my hearing was fine.

The audiologist at the time told me that I had selective hearing. I had good hearing in both ears but chose not to listen. That made sense to me then and I thought that was what my current problem was now.

Apparently this loss has been happening over the last five years.  I did not notice the gradual loss of hearing in both ears of the higher tones. I would not hear female voices as well as higher pitched voices.

Poor Diane.

As I could not hear my own voice as well,  I apparently started to speak louder and perhaps with poorer diction, causing her some great difficulties and concern.

I started noticing that I seemed to miss what people were saying at work so I decided that Diane must be right (ever notice how the female spouses of the world always seem to be right?).

I scheduled an appointment to have my hearing tested and my ears examined by a physician.

Low and behold, I had a hearing loss of between 70% to 90% of the higher tones. Go figure.

Yesterday I was fitted for hearing aids and started to hear sounds that I have not heard in a long time. The rustling of a paper bag sounded strange and I could hear myself speaking too loudly. The quiet house that I was living in, all of a sudden got louder.

It will take a while to make the adjustments to both my hearing and my speaking but I am so glad that I have the opportunity to correct this problem before it becomes unrecoverable.

It also turns out that many people going through hearing loss become depressed. I am hopeful that my restored hearing will allow me to ease out of the depression that I have been suffering.

I am fortunate that I can afford these devices. As I am 65, my government insurance, Medicare, and my private insurance does not cover any of the costs for the devices, only the cost for the examination and diagnosis.

It is unfortunate that seniors in the US do not have easy access to hearing aids. Something our politicians probably won’t want to talk about, I guess.

On another front, Diane and I are going to Las Vegas for a week.

Hope to talk some poker, Vegas, and some poker dealing soon.

Thanks for listening.

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Baby steps

English: A poker timer dealer button Français ...

English: A poker timer dealer button Français : Un bouton timer (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I am in the process gettig my life on track by being a better family person, a better working person, and a better human person.

I need to exercise my body, brain, and soul.

A little walking daily is in order. Some reading daily helps. Sharing thoughts with my soul mate.

Lucky for me, this is all doable.

I should work on making my goals into lists as one of my faults is not following through.

As for my poker dealing and poker playing, I am always thinking about ways to improve. I still get great enjoyment as a poker dealer and as a poker player.

If I can do it with my work and hobbies, I can do it with life.

Thank you for your encouragement and comments. Looking forward to sharing life and the excitement that I feel towards living.

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Moving forward … part 2

Looking ahead

Looking ahead (Photo credit: sskennel)

As mentioned on my last post, I believe that I am fighting a mild bout of depression. Of the many possible causes, I am narrowing it down to physical, although it does not really matter what the cause as long as I acknowledge it and work on overcoming the problem.

Besides treating the physical problem, I am working on getting daily exercise and having more contact with humans. This works for me as I get some of this contact by either working at or playing at the Poker Room at Hampton Falls.

If the physical solution works, I will explain in more detail what I believe has happened to me. Regardles of the cause, I am working at moving forward.

Thank you for your support and kind words.

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Moving forward …

Original Winnie the Pooh stuffed toys. Clockwi...

Original Winnie the Pooh stuffed toys. Clockwise from bottom left: Tigger, Kanga, Edward Bear (aka Winnie-the-Pooh), Eeyore, and Piglet. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I am AMAZING

I am currently battling through a stage of mild depression.

Yes, I have mentioned it to my doctor and yes I have told my significant other.

There are many reasons for going through this stage, some emotional and some physical.

The depression is mild. Like, ho hum, nice day Pooh, oh dear, bread and beer, why bother, etc. Not earth shaking, not traumatizing.

Depression is normal I learned. After all, every day or every hour or every moment in life is not electrifying, exciting, rewarding, or uplifting. There are down moments in everyone’s life.

Constant mild depression is not so normal and that is what I feel I have. I tend to give out subtle clues but I rarely talk about it or want to. I am slightly more quiet than usual. I like talking with people, so when I shut down, that is not my normal self. I have not read a book for the last four months (we do listen to audio books but that is not the same thing as it is a group activity. Diane and I listen together).

One exception, I have read our niece’s (Catherine W. McKinney) brilliant book “MacCool and the Woman” twice so far.

However, as a rule, I tend to avoid confrontations, such as giving political or religious opinions, and believe me, I do have them.

I recently posted here and on MomPopPow that I am in danger of losing my voice, both physical and virtual (blogging) and now need to do something about it.

I figure that reading aloud will help my physical voice. My virtual voice is now being engaged as well. Hence, I am writing this blog.

Diane has dozens, no hundreds, wait, thousands of ideas for me. Her brain spins and twerlls, just like the dragon eyes from Anne McCaffrey’s “DragonRiders of Pern” series. Not all of the ideas fit my personality (or depressed state), but some of them do resonate.

Recently, our son Chris was visiting with his daughter Violette, and he asked Diane, “how does my brain work”? I didn’t think much about the comment until Diane mentioned it again.

I am not sure how my brain works? I give out the reason for my dark hair and white beard, is that my brain does not overheat, thus does not whiten my hair. No smoke from the chimney type of thing. Yet, I tend to be a problem solver.

I tend to look at processes, or life, or challenges differently. I have always been a great high-tech trouble shooter at most of the high-tech jobs I have been employed as either as a programmer. a systems analyst or systems engineer.

Yet, I never have used these skills to bear on my own personal challenges. Now that I admit to having a personnel problem, albeit, depression, I will engage myself to overcome or at least minimize the effects to me and my lifestyle.

Stay tuned!

Mom Pop Pow! Where you can do it if you try!

Original Winnie the Pooh stuffed toys. Clockwi...

Original Winnie the Pooh stuffed toys. Clockwise from bottom left: Tigger, Kanga, Edward Bear (aka Winnie-the-Pooh), Eeyore, and Piglet. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Original Winnie the Pooh stuffed toys. Clockwise from bottom left: Tigger, Kanga, Edward Bear (aka Winnie-the-Pooh), Eeyore, and Piglet. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I am AMAZING

I am currently battling through a stage of mild depression.

Yes, I have mentioned it to my doctor and yes I have told my significant other.

There are many reasons for going through this stage, some emotional and some physical.The depression is mild. Like, ho hum, nice day Pooh, oh dear, bread and beer, why bother, etc. Not earth shaking, not traumatizing.

Depression is normal I learned. After all, every day or every hour or every moment in life is not electrifying, exciting, rewarding, or uplifting. There are down moments in everyone’s life.

Constant mild depression is not so normal and that is what I feel I have. I tend to give out subtle clues but I rarely talk about it or want to. I am slightly more quiet than usual. I like talking with people, so when I shut down, that is not my normal self. I have not read a book for the last four months (we do listen to audio books but that is not the same thing as it is a group activity. Diane and I listen together).

One exception, I have read our niece’s (Catherine W. McKinney) brilliant book “MacCool and the Woman” twice so far.

However, as a rule, I tend to avoid confrontations, such as giving political or religious opinions, and believe me, I do have them.

I recently posted here and on DadsPokerBlog that I am in danger of losing my voice, both physical and virtual (blogging) and now need to do something about it.I figure that reading aloud will help my physical voice. My virtual voice is now being engaged as well. Hence, I am writing this blog.

Diane has dozens, no hundreds, wait, thousands of ideas for me. Her brain spins and twerlls, just like the dragon eyes from Anne McCaffrey’s “DragonRiders of Pern” series. Not all of the ideas fit my personality (or depressed state), but some of them do resonate.

Recently, our son Chris was visiting with his daughter Violette, and he asked Diane, “how does my brain work”? I didn’t think much about the comment until Diane mentioned it again.

I am not sure how my brain works? I give out the reason for my dark hair and white beard, is that my brain does not overheat, thus does not whiten my hair. No smoke from the chimney type of thing. Yet, I tend to be a problem solver.

I tend to look at processes, or life, or challenges differently. I have always been a great high-tech trouble shooter at most of the high-tech jobs I have been employed as either as a programmer. a systems analyst or systems engineer.

Yet, I never have used these skills to bear on my own personal challenges. Now that I admit to having a personnel problem, albeit, depression, I will engage myself to overcome or at least minimize the effects to me and my lifestyle.

Stay tuned! More on poker and poker dealing and life.

You are AMAZING too!

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Use it or lose it

Till Human Voices Wake Us

Retirement and living in a secluded area in NH with less people interaction, is causing me to lose my voice, literally and figuratively.

This may be due to many factors. Being away from people most of the time. Being mildly depressed. Being agreeable or not voicing any disagreements might also contribute to my voice slowly disappearing.

My online voice is also very faint. I barely blog and then usually, it is a podcast about a book we just listened to.

A few months ago I attended a Social Media event entitled “Sobcon 2012” and learned during a work session, that everyone should take drama lessons as a way of improving ones voice. When discussing this with Diane, she suggested that I talk into a mirror as a way of getting my voice back.

Regardless of what it takes, I am going to work on getting my actual physical and virtual voice back before I lose it entirely.

My father used to say if you don’t use it, you will lose it. Whatever “it” may be.

It is not enough just to speak or talk, I need to project more, giving words or phrases more emphasis.

At the poker room, when I am dealing I will say:

Small blind, big blind

Antes please

Your action

Player raises

Player calls

Raise is announced

Player re-raised All-in

Blinds are up next hand

If you are not in the hand you are on break

We will be coloring up the chips

We will not be coloring up the chips

Blinds and/ or antes will be xxx when we return from break

And much, much more.

But I only deal two days a week and apparently this is not enough to build up my voice to the point where it is understood in a noisy crowd.

So I will endeavor to practice speaking to the point that I am heard and I will do the same regarding my blogging here or at MomPopPow.com.

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